User Profile

Name: Keito in room 73

Illness: Anorexia Nervosa/Bulimia (mix), night terrors, depression, self injury

Keito is a very insecure boy. His insecurities range from outside perceptions to inside perceptions, always wary of how he looks, dresses, behaves; how much he weighs, his body shape, how much he eats and doesn't eat; etc. He's quiet which makes for him to be overlooked often, but he offers to push himself into any situation with hopes that he will charm someone. He enjoys attention when it's on him, though he feels sheepish about it at the same time, and he soaks it up, using his best efforts to make those moments last. When all eyes are on him, especially when they're more or less fawning, he feels good and warm, feels wanted. When there is a harshness to the situation and no one sees him, he feels dejected and often feels guilty; that it's because of something he did, if he hadn't been there, etc.

He has the tendency to pull other people's problems onto himself, making them his own. He feels that in any case, he's to blame for anything that happens (if it's bad) and he's the reason things go wrong. He feels he's rotten, disgusting; and when someone can show him otherwise, make him feel beautiful for how ever many moments it lasts, he feels a strong connection to that person and clings. His guilty and clingy behavior have been looked upon with wariness and distaste, which he understands and always scrambles hard to change or cover up. He has good practice in the ways of a facade. When he can remember to, he covers up everything he thinks and feels with what he thinks other people wish to see. He's a people pleaser; anything he can do to be applauded for being great for someone, he'll do it. His dependency on attention and love is a strong one that doesn't fade.

He shies away from people when they present themselves in an overt manner; too intense, too passionate, too straight forward. Those who are the touchy sort startle him, often causing him to clam up and stare like a frightened deer caught in head lights. The briefest touch sends his mind reeling and his body stiffens while he breaks down inside. Tears usually build but sobs never result, just a boy with memories of hard lived times.

He uses the mix of anorexia and bulimia to maintain control over something. His body had belonged to someone else for so many years it's his way of keeping it his even when it's been claimed so many times. He feels a great sense of control over his life from it as well, dictating what and when he can eat and if he eats too much how to dispose of it, or when he treats himself to...untreat himself. The desire to be too thin for his father to wish for is what drove him toward the path of binging/purging/starving, but he continued on it, even when it didn't seem to veer his father away, just to keep some sort of semblance of himself, no matter how distorted. It was his wish to begin with, why stop it just because something didn't work; especially if it made him feel so good?

Keito was raped off an on for the greater part of his life; from the age of four to the age of fifteen. At fifteen, his father had known of Keito's issues; he'd seen the burns, the cuts, the bruises, but hadn't said a word because he didn't really care - not about those things. His step mother had eventually caught sight of a ghastly wound on the inside of his wrist that he'd covered with a long sleeve shirt that had just barely slid up enough for her sharp eyes to see and flipped her lid clean off. Keito was cut off from contact from any of his friends, the single solitary one there was, and his step mother began the search for where Keito would get the help needed. During this time, his father utilized the closeness and locked down period of Keito's life to his best abilities.

When time came for him to leave and go, his step mother had chosen Hanayami and he headed there sore and exhausted.